A list of songs that make me think/feel/wonder/sing/cry/laugh all at the same time.
(In no particular order)

TV Family - The Rocket Summer
Storm (Acoustic) - Lifehouse
You Make Me High - Jason Mraz
How To Save A Life - The Fray
That's So You - The Rocket Summer
Why Georgia - John Mayer
Konstantine - Something Corporate

On a rainy day, plug in the earphones and sit quietly, listen to these songs. The words, the feelings, the music.
Suddenly it all makes sense, you just have to listen.

I can find someone out there that is truly inspiring to the absolute max.
It's an exhilarating feeling to be inspired, it is.

Oh and I've also learned that you can never be satisfied with the way life is.
Because that's just the way we were made. Because if it were ever good enough, we would all cease to exist.
And for that, I guess i am grateful.

Misery, pain, suffering, experience, joy, happiness, love, joy, despair, triumph, wonderment.
They are all the spices of life.

Ride the ride.
Just deal with it and you will survive.

You know, I honestly thought it would hurt more to see that.
I knew it was coming, I just didn't know when.
I bet the little heart is gone too.

It's more like a finalization.
But I'm okay.
In fact, I've been better than ok. (:

I've refreshed my love for badminton and my badminton family.
<3

Hi. Today I actually had a pretty good day. (:
For further information go to Esta's lj here

Note for Esta "Circle":
Stop thinking my thoughts! Whore! (=

I want things to change. Things suck right now.
I'm in a phase where I can't be happy with anything right now.
Nothing.
Zip.


Zilch.
Zero.

I'm sucha cranky biatch, yes I know. (:
So much to be worrying about. Unrest is in the air.
But otherwise, I'm totally ok. Happy, even...

EDIT: omg ON SATURDAY! I went to BILL'S HOUSE!
THRICE THE FISH! ONCE HE'S DONE REMODELING!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!
THRICE!
Like, wacky!

People are such bitches. They should die. Like Cathy from East of Eden.
Whore.

ANYWAY, WACKY ADVENTURES AT BILL'S! Dog rope! I broke his stove handle! zOMG 8)

Note to self & anyone else that needs it:

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
& even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

The Cal-Nev-Ha KIWIN'S District Convention was, again, such a wonderful experience.

Young and I are so suffering from Convention withdrawal. I miss it a ton. It takes a lot of energy every day to not start screaming out cheers. I still don't have my normal voice back yet. It's great...except I can't whisper or talk loud or anything.
This DCON was, in many ways, very different from that last one. It was much more....well, different. But it was enjoyable nonetheless and I will surely be going to next year's.
I loved going with a new group of people, the 'Convention babies' as Young calls them. It was a lot of fun. Each and everyone of you brightened up my DCON weekend.
DCON Highlights:
- The hypnotized Kevin Liu, that was effing hilarious.
- Our four trophys, not as many as last year, but eff it. We got Distinguished Club of the Year Award Gold Division. We rock.
- Cheering so damn loud with alla them GAW KIWIN'S kids.
- Having the 'apple juice'
- Seeing people I haven't seen in a longggg time.
- Getting to finally meet Sally in person. She rocks.
- Spending my weekend with all my lovely peoples♥
- Rooming with Young, Esta, Carmen and Jodie. I love these girls.
- Getting second place for our video. (8
- Singing on our balcony at 2:30 in the morning with Young.
- Going to various workshops.
- Getting super hyper. HA! That...was...I don't remember. Haha, I remember bits & pieces.

I'll admit I didn't have as great a time as I had last year, but it was spectacular in it's own way. I really miss it. Nothing about DCON was plain. I miss the excitement, the cheering and the constant companionship of my friends. I love it. I love DCON.
The first night and day weren't as great as the second night. That shizzle rocked. F'sho.
Cavil at Rest was pretty awesome. Not to dance to, but to ...mosh to. Hehe.
I wish so badly I could go back to Convention, it was such a stress-reliever. A break from reality. I LOVED IT AND I WISH I COULD GO BACK. It has left me super spirited and eager to start my term as President with my 'partner-in-crime' Josh Choi. I'm so excited to get started and I pray I can do the job as great as our predecessors.
Congrats to Sylvia for Publications Editor, I'm so proud. Goldstone & Wilson REPRESENT! Yayuh.
Here's to a new KIWIN'S year. To a new year of stress, joys, anger and happiness that go beyond the realm of reality. To a new beginning and a start of a new chapter in my life.

Please let this be everything I need.

It is always said that the word "love" is thrown around too much. I think too much of a good thing makes it void, null and lacking in true meaning.

So...
I really, really like it when:
- You're explaining something to someone and they, honest-to-God completely understand what you mean.
There's nothing better then complete understanding between yourself and another person.
- You're anticipating something, and when it finally comes, it's everything you wanted it to be and more.
- That feeling where you know something good is coming your way, like a surprise party or something. You know it's coming but you feel giddy & excited anyway.
- You wake up & feel it in your bones that you're going to have a good day, and then actually having a good day.
- You hear a song that has lyrics that could not put into better words how you are feeling at that exact moment.
- You see something so pleasing to the eye that iyou wish you could just sit there and look at it for eternity.

Life is wonderful in these little ways...

Okay, let's try to write this yeah?

This past weekend was such a blast. Honestly forshizzle my niz-dizzle.
Friday: Chilled with Angela & Joe & Louis after badminton @ Mr. Swiss then Michael's Arts&Crafts, Target then Angela's casa til 230 making her conclave shizzle. Von's somewhere in-between. :D
Saturday: Conclave, Snow Day, Dinner with "other" family @ Frisco's, then badminton
Sunday: Alice's casa, played football outside :D, Mrs. Moore's class, Alice's casa again playing Taboo, St. John Vianney's church for Red Cross/NHS Homeless Shelter Help-Out, then Claim Jumpers with errone.

What a long ass weekend.

Quick thoughts:
It was so great being out doing community service with a different club then KIWIN'S. As much as I heart KIWIN'S, which no doubt, a is a LOT...It was really awesome working with different and new people. Got to know a few more people and it was really nice. Today's event was truly...amazing. It was a lot of fun and really restored one's faith in humanity.

Talking to Angela, Joe and Louis is such a soothing thing for me. Hanging out with them is so refreshing for me because they totally understand the thing I'm going through and I heart them like no other♥ Words cannot describe.

All things are just for now. Either enjoy them to the best of your ability or wait for them to pass.
Time changes everything.

Sometimes, first impressions can be totally false, other times, they can be right on the money.

Friends, family and music is all I need in my life♥

Note: I am so not in a posting mood, but I felt like I just had to write this all down. I wish I was in the mood though, this post could have been written so much better.

I know I don't make any sense.
It's cause I'm not trying to..

Sucks to be left out.
And time sucks too.
Deja vu. ~
Done with DBQ, early too
What an accomplishment
Seriously...
I miss the past.
Less hurting
Less worrying
Less loneliness
I'm so glad for bestfriends♥
Missing out sucks.
Karma's a bitch.
Esp. when you don't think you deserve it.

It's just a lot to take.

Not that that's a bad thing

Ground Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a LJ entry about their 5 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You are tagged" tell them to read yours.

Here's the 5 weird habits of myself:

1. I don't like to change in my room when my computer monitor is on. It freaks me out..
2. I sleep on my left side because that's how my bangs are
3. I like lemon in my water
4. Whenever I write anything, I plan it in my head first. This is my gift & my curse.
5. Just like Billy, whenever the car I'm riding in comes to a quick stop, I always turn to check if there's a car in back of us and I prepare for impact. Paranoia? I think so.

I tag: Whoever reads this. I know I hate it when people say that too.

---------------
Just a reminder to myself and whoever needs it:
"& even when your hope is gone
move along, move along just to make it through..."

Maybe it's not that we're not okay.
Maybe we just need somebody to tell us we're okay.
Or that we're going to be okay..

TRULY LONG DAY.
Went to Rose Float decorationg-ing thing today in Pasadena. Trunk'd it, my spine hurts. =P I totally trust Angela's driving though and her car. ^_^ Too many jerks on the road. wtf. ANYWAYS, Me and Jenn totally did our best on the roof that we were working on. Total disadvantage to where we were and how the scaffolding was positioned. But we totally rocked it. As best we could. "IT'LL DRY.." =D Spent some good time with my fellow KIWIN'S-ers todayyy! Flax seed, glue, cracked rice and tree bark..EVERYWHERE. All in my hair, it looked like a nest. >_<

After the extremely tiring RoseFloat thing, kicked it with Joisey, Charles, Joe and Angela (Thanks for ride!) in the car. FUn ride eh? >< Stupid drivers...

Then badminton. We did nothing but run. I cannot express the pain I feel in my legs. So sore and numb and throbbing. Run, run, run. Search for janitor, then went to Chili's with Gin, Thai, Joe, Andrew, Louis, Joe, Jolyn. Ate some appetizers. Yum. "That is SO not bottemless, I can see it!" :D

Fun fun fun day. So tiring. Most tiring in a long time.
But well spent.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
I love my fellow KIWIN'S-ers and my badminton crewww<3
Fo EVA EVA!

I think the most disappointing thing in life is not living up to other's expectations. It's so hard when someone thinks of you as a letdown. Everyone needs to learn to live life in the moment, most things are worth stressing over so much.. A win, a loss, a start, an ending, a wish, a hope, a fear.
Being the black sheep, the odd one out is one of the hardest challenges someone has to face in their lifetime. And the things about this mountain, is you have to climb it almost every single day of your life. And the most part you know, that these people, those pushing you to strive farther, care about you. Maybe a little too much. Who knows?
Maybe I'm just trying to console myself, maybe what I'm saying doesn't make any sense, but I just know this. I'm not best at most things, and that's okay for me, but is it enough for you?
Sometimes I wish someone would just give me a set of directions that I could follow so I wouldn't feel so lost. Boy, do I sound Emo.
My second topic: I think that the most hurtful thing in the world is, not hate, not jealously, not even disgust. It has got to be neglect. Because hating someone never destroyed them, but simply not caring just might.

I wish I could have put these jumbled thoughts into better sentences..
---------------



But here I am, PERFECT as I'm ever going to be..</center

Now, I rarely ever put lyrics cause I know no one actually reads it but this is a beautiful song..

Home by Michael Buble

Another summer day,
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home...
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I,
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know...

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough,
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me..
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day, has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people, I
I still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be alright
I’ll be home tonight,
I’m coming back home...


Sometimes, we all feel so lost and there's nothing better then returning home. It doesn't have to be a house but somewhere nice where everyone knows your name is nice enough. We all want to return home♥